Ten Tips for Healthy Parenting

Parenting Tips for Parents of ADHD Children

Here are a few tips that I hope will be helpful to you as you invest your day in raising our next generation. Feel free to leave other "quick tips" in the comments at the bottom of the page for others to read!

• Know the difference between big things and little things.
• Know the difference between incompetence and rebelliousness.

  If you child does something out of incompetence, then take the time to teach your child how to do it right.

  If your child acts out of rebellion toward your authority as a parent, then this behavior needs to be disciplined or punished, and cannot be tolerated or accepted.

• The word "discipline" means "to teach, to shape, to mold, or to perfect." Remember this.
• Be firm, be consistent, and build a personal relationship with your child.
• Be careful not to become overly performance oriented with your children.

  Your children are more than just homework, reports, and chores. There is a real person there who has hopes, dreams, fears, likes and dislikes. Get to personally know your child.

• Quality time is no substitute for quantity time.

  The average father in America spends only 47 seconds a day in conversation with his children. But I am sure that it is "quality time."

• Be a positive person, and a positive role model for your child.

  The best predictor of how your child will be when he is 30-40 years old is how YOU are as a person today. Be a positive influence on your child socially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

• Make the effort to catch your child doing something right every day.
• Teach your child how to be successful. But first, take the time to figure out in your own life what it means to be "successful."

  Is it just having more money or stuff? Or is there more to your life than that?

• Teach your child self-control and respect for others.
• Know the difference between being a "parent" and being a "friend."

  You are the parent. That is your responsibility and right. Don't trade it for merely being a friend.

• Parenting is not about being "liked" by your child. It is about doing what is "right" for your child.

  Always do what is right, even if your child doesn't like it. You are the adult and you know what is "right" and what is "wrong." Your child is just a child and needs to be taught by YOU what is right and wrong. Be strong and do the right thing.

• Wise King Solomon said that "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child."

  Our children start of with "foolishness" and need to be taught "wisdom." We are given 18 to 22 years to teach our children wisdom - they don't start off with it, we have to teach it.

TV Watching and Learning Problems

TV Watching, Video Games, and Learning Problems

Yes, its just like you thought. The more TV you watch, the less you know. And if you watch too much TV, you will be at risk for learning problems and attention problems. The same is true of time spent playing video games. Too much time spent playing video games puts you at risk for learning problems, and attention problems.

And while TV watching may be mildly addictive, video games may be very addictive. In fact, up to 30% of all males who play video games regularly may be physiologically addicted to game playing. The more violent the game is, the more potentially addictive it is.

Parents, understand that your children are growing up in a culture that is far different from the culture that we grew up in. Our children don't know about Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Viet Nam, or even Jimmy Carter.

Our children have far more media and entertainment choices than we ever imagined, and they don’t know that they can live without cell phones, ipods, video games, rental videos, cable TV, and the internet – because they have never known a world without them!

Children and teens live their lives saturated with media. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation’s most recent study of children ages 8 to 18:

• Young people spend an average of 6.5 hours per day with entertainment media, or over 44 hours per week!
• Since young people often multi-task with media, they are actually exposed to about 8.5 hours of entertainment media every day, or about 60 hours per week.
• TV, videos, and music are the dominant entertainment media, averaging 4 hours every day.
• Internet use for fun averages about 1 hour per day.
• Playing of video games averages 1 hour per day.
• By comparison, reading books, magazines, or newspapers averages only 45 minutes per day. Doing chores averages 30 minutes per day, and doing homework averages 50 minutes per day.

Of course, we parents have created this media entertainment environment for our children and teens to grow up in.

Our homes average 3.6 CD players, 3.5 television sets, 3.3 radios, 3.9 DVD players, 2.1 video game consoles, and 1.5 computers. In fact, 25% of children are growing up in homes with five or more TV sets!

A new study was just published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine by Columbia University’s College of Physicians and Surgeons, and the New York State Psychiatric Institute research team led by Jeffrey Johnson, and Tara Stevens of Texas Tech University.

This study shows that teenagers who spent a lot of time watching TV were more likely to have attention and learning problems “that persist, and interfere with their long-term educational achievement.”

The researchers advise parents to limit the amount of time they let their children watch TV (or we would add any entertainment that is similar to TV viewing, such as video game play) to less than two hours per day, adding that they should only watch quality programming.

They specifically noted that video games have little educational value, and may promote attention problems in children. We are concerned by other studies that show that violent video games, they kind that can cause the release of adrenalin, can be highly addictive, and that about 30% of boys who play these games are already addicted to them.

The researchers found that watching TV for three or more hours per day at the age of 14 often resulted in attention problems, failure to complete homework, boredom at school, failure to complete high school, poor grades, negative attitudes about school, overall academic failure in high school later on, and failure to go on to college.

This list looks a lot like a list for someone abusing drugs too, doesn’t it? We have always been concerned that TV viewing acts on the brain much like a narcotic, and that too much viewing can be addictive. Though this study doesn’t address that issue, the list of results from too much viewing is certainly troubling.

The researcher conclude that we should restrict the time that our children and teens spend viewing TV or playing video games.

By the way parents, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under two years of age not watch TV at all.

TV watching by infants has shown to be associated with problems of attention control, aggressive behavior, and poor mental development. The AAP views excessive television viewing by infants as “one of the major public health issues facing American children.”

Parents, its time that we come to understand that TV and video games are not our friends, and they are not our children’s friends.

We were not created to spend 40 hours per week inside our rooms, sitting on sofas, playing video games or watching TV shows. We were made to move, to go outside and play, to work, to interact with others, to make conversation, to think.

It is time for us to re-evaluate how we let our children live their lives. It is time for us to re-evaluate our own lives.

What is truly important to you?

Building Your Child's Self Esteem

If we are to define self-esteem as "having feelings of worth or value," then people with adequate levels of self-esteem should display a sense of realistic confidence in their abilities and performance.

People with low levels of self-esteem would be expected to display feelings of inadequacy, a fear of failure, a sense of being unworthy, and perhaps depression.

According to researchers, most children enter school with a good sense of self-esteem (at least as defined by psychologists) and yet leave high school with a poor sense of self-esteem. What happens in between?

Challenges for Our Children…

It is estimated that 25-35% of children have Learning Disabilities.

At least 5% have Attention Disorders. All too many times during the course of their academic careers these children are labeled by teachers (or parents) as being "lazy," or "stupid." Remarks of this type are typically interpreted by the child as, "You're no good," and the self-esteem levels drop.

At least 50% of children will experience the divorce of their parents prior to turning 18 years old.

Most children, for whatever reasons too complicated to go into here, will tend to place at least a portion of the blame for the parent's divorce on themselves. Since the parents are typically placed on a pedestal in the eyes of the child, the blame for the divorce cannot be placed on the parents and must be placed elsewhere, most commonly on themselves. This also significantly impacts children's self-esteem levels.

There are other important challenges to maintaining reasonable self-esteem, such as merely being "average" in a world that worships only the good looking, the good athletes, and the well-to-do.

Too Much Can Be Bad For You…

Let me say here and now that inappropriately high levels of self-esteem may be worse that low levels.

Levels of self-esteem that are too high lead kids to believe that they are more important than anyone else, and that they should never be frustrated by work or challenges in life.

It leads young people to believe that they should always have their way.

Inflated levels of self-esteem ultimately discourages children and teens from learning how to work hard, and may well lead into criminal behavior (criminals tend to have high levels of self-esteem, not low levels).

Inflated levels of self-esteem also are directly at odds with the development of one's spirituality and relationship with God. After all, who needs to develop a relationship with God when he believes that what he wants is more important than what God wants?

The ultimate out come of the self-esteem movement is seen in the New Age doctrine that you are, in fact, God. Yes you. The guy who can’t balance his check book or keep his car fixed. You are God? So they tell us.

People are cheated in every important aspect of their lives, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, when their sense of self-esteem is over-inflated.

So how can we instill appropriate levels of self-esteem in our children?

Briefly, here are five key thoughts . . .

First, change the way that you look at this area of life from "self-esteem" to "self-confidence." There is a difference as wide as the sea.

To "esteem" someone, including one's self, involves feelings of "reverence" or "awe" or "honor" or "glory." Words have meaning.

Let's not get carried away with trying to make our kids feel good about themselves by starting to ascribe to them positions of honor normally reserved for God, and perhaps for Presidents and Kings. The majority of our society's problems are caused by people thinking that they are as important or as powerful as God, or at least that they are more important than anyone else in the world. This is not something that we really want to encourage in our children, or in ourselves.

Instead we do want to encourage self-confidence.

This attribute becomes especially powerful and beautiful when paired with the virtue of self-control. Raise your children to have these two character traits, and you will have wonderful and successful children, ADD/LD or not.

Second…

* Encouragement
* Praise
* Acceptance and
* Responsibility.

Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and strengths in order to build his/her self-confidence. See the positive. Even failures can be outstanding learning experiences.

Encouragement sounds like this, "I like the way that you did that," or "I know that you can do it," or, "It looks like you worked very hard at that."

Encouragement is NOT giving compliments for work poorly done, but under those circumstances it IS inspiring your child to work harder and do better.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
-St. Paul (Eph. 4:29)

Ultimately self-confidence comes from having accomplished things worth being proud of.

Reserve Praise for things well done. Where Encouragement is given for effort, Praise is given for accomplishment. Just say, "That's a good start, keep at it," when the work is not yet worthy of praise.

Accept your child for who he/she is. If you expected that your baby would grow into an Olympic athlete with an IQ of 148, and instead he/she is "average" then you might be very disappointed as a parent (most children are "average," which is why they call it "average").

Disappointment is often turned into anger, or at least frustration. If your child cannot live up to your dreams for him or her (and why should they?) then please be careful of your emotions. If you are not careful, your own dreams and expectations for your child will become a wedge between you and your child.

Please never make your love, encouragement, or acceptance, dependent on their performance or behavior.

Teach Responsibility to your children.

Let them try things and let them fail once in a while. Don't keep bailing them out. Victory only tastes sweet if we taste the bitterness of failure once in a while. Trust me, the dog's not going to starve if he misses a meal or two. The newspaper won't come to publish a story on your family if your child fails to make his bed once in a while.

Just use these occasions to remind your child that if his dog is going to ever eat again, he needs to get out there and feed it (assuming that's your child's job). Remind your child that he or she is an important member of your home and that he needs to be responsible with doing his chores.

Make the consequences for not being responsible fit the crime. And of course be sure to reward/praise your child when he does act responsibly. Behavior that is rewarded tends to reoccur, and behavior that is ignored tends to go away -- so always reward/praise responsible behaviors.

A Call to Fathers

Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things in your life.

Another recent University study found that the average father in America spends less than sixty seconds per day in conversations with his children!

The actual number was 47 seconds per day.

Where is the investment in the life of the child? In our work? Our paycheck?

What's with us men? Have we as fathers come to think that our kids really just need our money?

Our children need us to look them in the eyes and talk with them. We need to actually be involved in the lives of our children and teens. We need to actively raise them, teach them, and shape their character and morals and values.

Parenting is a "hands on" activity.

So, spend time with your kids. Be available for your kids. Make your kids a major priority in your life. Protect your family. Be involved in your family.

Essay on Family: "Family Matters"

FAMILY MATTERS was the headline that caught my attention in the newspaper.

That's the name of my radio program here in California's central valley. It was interesting enough for me to buy the paper and read the story.

The article was about a recent study called The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, a survey of about 90,000 teenagers (age 12-18). The sub-headline was "Study debunks belief nothing works with teens." (Whose belief is that?)

The reporter wrote as if a new revelation had just been handed down from heaven in the form of this study.

As a result of this major study on adolescents, she wrote, we have found that "families are more important than previously thought, perhaps as important as peers. . . The primacy of peer relationships has been a widely held concept among professionals since the 1960's."

Yes, the reporter, and the researchers, were shocked to find out that the family is still important!

"These findings offer the parents of America a blueprint for what works in protecting their kids from harm," said Richard Udry of UNC Chapel Hill.

What is this amazing, secret blueprint that will now be revealed to you parents who are assumed to not know any better?

"The most significant finding is that the teenagers who reported feeling close to their families were the least likely to engage in any of the risky behaviors studied . . . Nearly as important were high expectations from the parents for their teenager's school performance."

I'm stunned.

They surveyed 90,000 kids to find out that families that love, care for, and nurture each other produce kids who don't get in trouble as much as families that cast their kids into the hands of other teenagers (known as the "peer group") to be raised by a pack of 15 year olds.

Also, families where parents actually CARE about school performance, and expect their kids to work to their potential produce kids who don't get into trouble as much as families who don't care.

I'm glad science has finally come around to this point of view.

How bad are things across America?

Pretty bad for many families

Using a sample size of 12,118 students interviewed, here's the picture of teenagers in America today:

• Teens who smoke - 25 percent
• Smoked marijuana at least once in past month - 11 percent
• Used alcohol more than once in past month - 17 percent
• Attempted suicide in past year - 3 percent
• Seventh and Eight Graders who have engaged in sex - 16 percent
• High Schoolers (9th - 12th grades) who have engaged in sex - 48 percent

"The only factor that was linked with a lower risk factor across the board was a close-knit family, the study found."

Parent Resources

Here are several great resources on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - ADD ADHD - that we recommend for parents and teachers.

ADHD BOOKS

Visit the ADD ADHD Bookstore at www.ADD411.com for hundreds of selected books on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

This site has 100 recommended books on ADHD. Product is provided through Amazon.com, the Internet’s largest book-seller. There are books for parents, teachers, and professionals.

LEARN ABOUT THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF ADHD

It is very important that you learn about the different types of ADHD, and the specific targeted treatment strategies for each type. This will really help to get you better results - fast!

Here is a FREE resource on the different types of ADHD that you can download in PDF format that will really help!

DOES ATTEND REALLY WORK?

Visit ADD-Products.com for information and unique research comparing the effectiveness of stimulant medication such as Ritalin to EEG Neurofeedback training and to the nutraceutical medicine called ATTEND.

Yes, stimulant medication wins, but not by as much as you might think. This is a great site to visit as you consider your treatment options.

FREE ADHD NEWSLETTER

Subscribe to our free ADHD Newsletter by Dr. Doug Cowan, our clinical director at NewIdeas.Net. This is a great resource for both parents and teachers. It comes via email, usually every week. And it is free!

THE ADHD LINKS PROJECT

The ADD ADHD Links Project has 400 Links to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder sites, service providers, neurofeedback providers, and related links on learning disabilities or other disorders.

This is an outstanding resource. We use it for our own research on ADD ADHD. Check out the Further Study section for very helpful links to research search engines. Bookmark this site!

ADHD DIET

Our recommended ADHD EATING PROGRAM: Want to try a diet for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

We have provided this resource for free to parents in our practice, and over the internet, for years. It doesn’t work for everyone. In fact it only works for about 25% of those who try it. But if it does work for you, you will think it is the greatest thing in the world! Give it a try. You will know within a month if it will help or not.

ATTEND FOR ADHD

Attend is our highly recommended all natural alternative to Ritalin.

NUTRACEUTICAL MEDICINES

VAXA International makes, and sells, all of our recommended nutritional products. They have a great product line of advanced nutraceuticals for men and women too.

Our Clinical Director, Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., serves on their Medical Advisory Board and has a great deal of input into the design and production of VAXA’s products for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

EEG BIOFEEDBACK INFORMATION

To find a provider in your area, try EEG Spectrum or if you are in Los Angeles, phone them at (818) 789-3491. They have a number of affiliated providers around the USA using their equipment (which is very good equipment). Tell them Doug Cowan sent you. Sue and Siegfried Othmer are old friends, and very nice people.

Using Games to Teach Your Child Problem Solving Skills

Teaching Problem Solving Skills: Checkers and Chess Can Be Helpful

This past year has been fun for our family as Grant (7) has picked up the game of chess and has been very successful with it. We have enjoyed traveling to several tournaments, and have met dozens of wonderful children and their families.

For several years I used checkers with my adhd clients of all ages to teach them problem solving skills. Checkers is an easy tool to use, as it is fun for children, especially younger kids, and if the parent or coach is not too competitive, is a great way to teach children how to think before making a decision and to look at the possible consequences of their decisions.

What surprised me was how many "hyperactive" children in the 8 to 12 year old range could sit down, focus, and play a really good game of chess with other kids their age. Perhaps you could help your child by teaching checkers first, as below, and them over a year or so moving them into chess. It is a wonderful strategy game, and I told Grant that it is just a way to play "army" with someone else, and there are rules that both players have to play by. He loved that idea.

I know that the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment has lost some momentum lately, but I still believe that the basic strategies and techniques are still worth teaching your children. After all, problem solving skills are important for everyone to have, whether ADHD or not. In fact, many marriage researchers agree that if married couples had basic problem solving skills better mastered that many marriages would be happier and many divorces averted. So problem solving skills are important for everyone.

Its easy to teach your child this five-step problem solving strategy. My favorite version of this simple skill goes something like this. . .

1. Ask yourself, "What is the problem?"
2. Think up three possible solutions (options) to the problem.
3. Look at each option for a minute. Ask yourself, "Is this a good move or a bad move?"
4. Pick what you think would be the best option or solution.
5. Try it out and see if it works.

I use Checkers to teach this formula. It is a great way to practice without it effecting anything in the "real world." I use this formula to teach the skills in Checkers:

• Move "A" - think of three good moves that you could make. Pick the best move.
• Move "B" - choose your move. Now once you have moved, ask yourself, outloud, "Is this a good move or a bad move?" If it is a bad move, go ahead and move something else.
• Move "C" - choose your move. Now once you have moved, ask yourself, "Now that I've moved here, what will the other player move next?" If you look ahead and find that you won't like the consequences for your move, go ahead and change your move. Think ahead!

I really like the kids to be able to think in terms of "Look at all of your options," and "Is this a good move or a bad move?" and "If I do this, what will happen next?"

Parents, you can do this with your kids at home. Just remember the point of the checkers game is for the child to learn the problem solving strategies (let him change his move even if he's taken his hand off of the game piece!). Game by game watch your child (if age 6 or older) get better and better at making decisions and good moves. Then use the "language" from the game to talk about real life situation. Good luck with this.

ADD ADHD Diet Information

ADD ADHD Diet

Eating Program (ADD Diet) for Attention Deficit Disorder

Our ADHD diet and eating program for ADD ADHD kids is not a very strict program, like Feingold's ADD diet, unless you are used to having most meals at your local fast food restaurant.

This program is recommended for every member of the family. It's not just an "ADHD diet". It's the same program that we put professional athletes and business executives on for optimized performance, with only minor changes.

We have found that it really helps about 20% to 25% of the ADHD kids that try it without using any other intervention. We strongly believe that whether one is using a medication such as Ritalin, or using a natural alternative such as Attend, that this type of eating program plays a big role in achieving success when used as a part of a treatment program.

The most common feedback that we get from parents is, "Well, it helped my kid somewhat, but I really feel great!"

Results fall into a "Bell Curve." A few do great, a few are completely unaffected, and most do somewhat better but it is not enough as a stand-alone intervention.

Please have realistic expectations with this ADD ADHD Diet. But please try it. It just may be a big help to your family.

Finding Out if it is ADD ADHD or Food Allergies

What NOT to eat for TWO WEEKS

First, let's find out if there are food allergies causing ADHD - like behaviors. Eliminate these foods for two weeks, then get ready to add them back in to the diet...

• NO DAIRY PRODUCTS, especially cow's milk.

  This is the single most important restriction. The American Pediatric Association estimates that 30% of all children are allergic to milk. Instead try Almond milk, Rice milk, or Better Than Milk. Drink water instead of milk.

• NO YELLOW FOODS. Especially Corn or Squash. Bananas are white. Don't eat the peel.
• NO JUNK FOODS. If it comes in a cellophane wrapper, don't eat it.
• NO FRUIT JUICES. Too much sugar content. One small glass of apple juice has the sugar content of eight apples. Later on you can have juice, but dilute it with water 50/50.
• CUT SUGAR INTAKE BY 90%. If you can, cut it down to zero. Sugar is in just about everything, but give it a try. Do your best without going crazy.
• CUT CHOCOLATE BY 90%. No more than a single piece, once a week.
• NO NUTRASWEET. None. Period. Never. It's bad for you.
• NO PROCESSED MEATS and NO MSG. Only get meats with labels that say, “Turkey and Water,” etc. If the meat has chemicals listed that you can't pronounce, don't buy it.
• CUT FRIED FOODS BY 90%.
• AVOID FOOD COLORINGS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. See if your child is sensitive to any particular colors, such as Reds, Yellows, etc. For now, though, avoid all if possible.
• AVOID FISH. We hate to say this, as there used to be so many benefits to eating fish, especially the Essential Fatty Acids (EFAs) or Omega Oils. But the problem these days is that the mercury levels in most fish is simply too high to be either safe or healthy. Mercury is the second most toxic metal on earth, and is a terrible neuro-toxin. Until we clean up the oceans and the rivers of mercury, just don't eat it. Sorry.

SUMMARY: Just eat foods that God made for a while. Eat like people did in the 1940's. Go to a used book store and get a Betty Crocker's Cook Book for recipe ideas. There really are about 10,000 meals that you CAN eat. Just not much in the way of “fast foods” or “convenience” foods.

After the First Two Weeks

AFTER TWO WEEKS begin adding these foods back into your diet, one food every other day. Eat A LOT of that food every day for four days.

If you have a problem with one of the foods, you will see some kind of a “reaction” within four days. The reaction can vary from big red splotches on the body to ears turning bright red to explosive temper outbursts. If there's a problem, you'll know. If there's no problem, enjoy the food.

WHAT TO EAT TO FEED THE ADHD BRAIN

Just as some foods make the brain "foggy", other foods can enhance brain performance. Here are some things to eat to feed the ADHD brain...

• FOR BREAKFAST SERVE HIGH PROTEIN, LOW CARBOHYDRATE MEALS.

  Say, “Good-bye,” to Breakfast cereals and milk. Breakfast cereals are all carbohydrate and sugar, which is the worst combination for the ADHD brain. And 30% of children are allergic to milk. So the classic American breakfast of cereal and milk is a really bad idea.

  Instead, serve 60% to 70% Protein and 30% to 40% Carbohydrates for Breakfast. Eggs, breakfast meats, and some toast would be fine. Other meals of the day could be 50% Protein and 50% Carbohydrate.

• PROTEIN SUPPLEMENTS might be needed to get the added protein for Breakfast. They are often very helpful in the afternoon as well. Here is our favorite recipe for a Protein Shake:

  a) Make a cup of coffee, using one of General Mills' International Coffees, or something like that, with a flavor that you or your child will like (yes, I know I'm breaking my own rules here, as these coffees have dried milk and some sugar, but I'm trying to get your kid to actually drink the thing, and also get some caffeine mixed with the protein.). Pour the hot coffee into a blender with about 6 oz of ice. Turn on the blender for a bit.

  b) Add a good quality protein powder. There are many good ones available. If you can't find one that you like, ask at your local health food store. Get protein powders that are mostly protein and very little carbohydrate. Add between 15 and 20 grams of protein to the cold coffee in the blender.

  c) Turn on the blender again.

  d) Drink it up.

  This protein shake is helpful for a lot of people. For many small kids, and many adults, this recipe works about as well as a small dose of Ritalin (100 mg of caffeine is roughly the same as 5 mg of Ritalin). So many who might just take a small dose of Ritalin might get away with just doing this.

  Don't forget, though, that even caffeine can have some side effects. Every once in a while we find someone that has problems with the caffeine in the coffee. Usually, though, the caffeine in the coffee helps the person to focus better. The protein helps to feed the brain. If you find this helpful, have one with Breakfast, and one around 3 pm. If it is not helpful, then don't bother with it.

• DRINK LOTS OF WATER. The brain is about 80% water, and increasing your water intake to 7 to 10 glasses per day might be very helpful all by itself. Sodas, Gatorade, teas, icees, etc., do not count as water. Only water counts as water.
• MINERAL SUPPLEMENTS may be helpful. Colloidal Minerals or fully chelated minerals are the best. We like the MinPac from VAXA, but there are several good choices. Don't buy minerals in the grocery store. Get good minerals.
• ATTEND, EXTRESS, or MEMORIN from VAXA. We recommend the "Attend" product for everyone. "Extress" is recommended in addition for those with problems with hyperactivity and temper, and "Memorin," in addition to the "Attend," for those with poor concentration or memory. These are strongly recommended. Here is more information on ATTEND, the amino acid based, homeopathic medicine that is a great alternative to ritalin.
• FLAX SEED or PRIMROSE OIL. These are good sources of Omega oils, and many with ADHD are deficient in Omega oils (or essential fatty acids). Borage oils, flax seed oils, and some fish oils are good as well. These Omega oils are very important. Mix about a spoonful a day into foods as you prepare them, or add to salad dressings, etc.
• EAT LOTS OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.
• AVOID ALUMINUM EXPOSURE
• AVOID HEAVY METAL EXPOSURES

  These heavy metal exposures come in the form of amalgam dental fillings, which are 50% mercury (extremely toxic), 20% copper (also toxic), and about 15% nickel (also toxic). Nickel is also common with dental braces and with dental crowns.

  Cadmium is toxic, and is found in dental fillings, and also in cigarette smoke. And there are other toxic heavy metals found in pesticides and herbicides. And now there's also too much mercury in fish.

• Eat in a healthy manner.

Try these recommendations out and let us know what you think.

Oh, before you email back and ask, “Well, what can we eat?” please look through your Betty Crocker Cook Book and you'll find hundreds of recipes that will work well. It's the convenience foods that are most of the problem. Re-discover the lost art of cooking with this ADD ADHD Diet.

And Please! Bookmark this page: del.icio.us | Furl | reddit | Shadows | Yahoo MyWeb

Anger Management Question

Dear Dr. Cowan,

It seams to me that my son has many reason to have some anger issues - that we have not dealt with - some kids seems to move in life easily, however, he still remembers how his grade 2 teacher was very unfair to him when he is the one who was hurt by some else and even gave him a whole week suspension. I find that once you have the label you might as well work with it and make the best of it.

My question is - my son is now is grade 7 - but has had to take the blame - some times unfairly, we also are going through major health challenges in the familly and also lost our home - so needless to say there is some anger that he talked to the school pchychologyst about. Now I am being asked to send him for an anger management program. Where do I start - to find the most effective and fun place to take my son to?

Many thanks - for you continues support!

Mom

Dear Mom,

I am sorry to hear about your circumstances. This sounds like a very difficult and challenging time for your family. Regarding your son, here are some thoughts just off the top of my head - but they might help.

First, if you are involved in a church you'd want to have your son meet with, and hang around, the pastor (or rabbi, etc) and with some young men who are mature and wise for their age. Find some guys who are in High School or college that are "really good guys" and see if your son can spend some time with them doing service project in your community or serving people in some capacity. We take teams to Mexico to build houses, to help elderly people in our community, and try to help feed people too. He can do these kinds of projects, and helping others who are less well off that yourself can take the edge off of anger.

Also consider the martial arts. I know that seems counter-intuitive, but I have seen lots of good results of children and teens taking karate or judo lessons. They demand self-discipline and self-control of students. You just have to shop for teachers who desire that their students gain perspective and wisdom, rather than teachers who want their kids to know how to fight.

Your son also needs to understand that there are several options in how to respond to perceived injustices in life. Some people feel helpless and get depressed. Others feel picked on and get angry.

But these are not the only options. Some few see injustice in the world and seek to change the world, beginning with living righteously in their own life, and then seeking righteousness and justice in the world around them. Whether your candidate is Obama or McCain, you see in both men a long-term desire to change the world for the better. Though they disagree on the best ways to accomplish the goal, they have both devoted their "lives and their fortunes" to this.

Tell your son not to waste his life, or his time, on things that don't matter. Ask him to spend his days, weeks, and years in the pursuit of helping others and making the world a better place for us all. Make a difference. Do things that really matter.

I hope these ideas are at least somewhat helpful to you.

Thanks for writing.

Doug Cowan

Attend

Alternative Medication - Homeopathic Nutraceutical for ADHD

Attend is a great ADHD alternative treatment, and is the most advanced "natural alternative ADHD remedy" available today.

Watch this Video: THE TRUTH ABOUT ATTEND

We are the LEADING EXPERTS on Attend

Attend is a powerful, all-natural treatment choice that is Clinically Tested with computerized testing, in addition to parent reports. The Computerized Testing showed over 70% improved with Attend in just 30 days, and the Parent Rating Scales reported 80% improved in 30 days.

People using Attend are:

• MORE FOCUSED


• BETTER BEHAVED


• HAVE MORE SELF-CONTROL!

Attend is one of the most popular alternative choices to ADHD medications such as Ritalin, Strattera, Concerta, Dexedrine, Adderall, or other medications for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. As some evidence mounts that stimulants may not be as safe as once thought, many parents are looking for an alternative that works. Attend is an excellent choice.

Alternative Medication - Natural Remedy

VAXA's Neuro-Scientists developed Attend using cutting edge research with amino acid combinations, Essential Fatty Acids and Lipid complexes, homeopathic medicines, and precursors to specific neurotransmitters.

This combination of neural building materials gives the brain what it needs to optimize performance in filtering out noise from the "outside world," and noise from "the inside world," to focus better on the task at hand. Attend is helping children and adults who have problems with attention, learning, or impulse control!

Attend is formulated with 72 specific ingredients for maximum benefit:

• Specific Amino Acid combinations for the increased production of specific neurotransmitters,
• Essential Fatty Acids and Phospholipid complexes, as over one-half of the dry weight of the brain is made up of fatty acids and lipids, and supplementation in EFAs and lipid complexes has been shown to be beneficial with ADHD, and brain performance in general,
• and Homeopathic Medicines targeted to the symptoms of ADHD.

ADHD Alternative Treatment with Attend

Attend is a safe homeopathic medicine that is combined with the most advanced nutritional formula available. Providing nutritional and homeopathic support to the Central Nervous System, Attend gives the brain the support required for new neural growth and neurotransmitter production.

Taken regularly, Attend was formulated to complement our body's natural calming and balancing agents, helping us to focus attention, calm down and relax more, and finish our tasks.

Turning Struggles into Success since 1996

We personally performed the clinical studies for the development of Attend, and we have seen the positive results in real life settings through our clinical practice.

Attend helps 70% to be more focused, to get their work done, and to think more clearly.

Improvement in Self-Control

The study group showed the greatest improvement in the area of Self-Control, shown by a reduction of "Commission Errors". This item improved by 1.6 standard deviations.

This means that as a group they made fewer mistakes, guessed less on responses, slowed down to get the right answer, and showed better neurological self-control.

More Consistent Performance

The next greatest improvement was in the Consistency of Performance, which is the most difficult category to improve whether using Attend or stimulant medications. The group saw an overall improvement of 1.2 standard deviations.

This means that as a group they were able to maintain their initial focus to the task longer, and they had less "ups and downs" during the test. They were simply performing better, longer.

Improved Focus to Task

The Focus to Task category, improved 1.0 standard deviations. This is also a very strong improvement considering it is for an entire group.

This means that as a group they were paying attention to the task much better, and for a longer period of time. Their "attention span" increased to the boring task of the TOVA test.

Improved Reaction Time

The improvement in Reaction Time was 5 points, or 1/2 of a standard deviation, which is still statistically significant, especially for a group.

Reaction Time is obviously neurologically based. Improvement in RT indicates that neurological performance had improved for the group for some reason. That reason was the use of Attend for 30 days.

Getting the Most From Attend

To get the most benefit from using Attend, we strongly recommend that you also use our ADHD diet recommendations. We also recommend that you study the Different Types of ADHD, and order recommended products for your type's Specific Treatment Strategy.

As an herbal remedy, natural remedy, homeopathic medicine, or advanced science, we believe Attend is the finest natural alternative to ADHD medication available today!

Visit the Official ATTEND web page now!

IMPORTANT: Use our Specific Treatment Strategies for your specific type of ADHD for the best results! Find them under our section on the Different Types of ADHD.

Seventy Percent Improved with Attend

The computerized TOVA CPT test showed that 70% of children and teens using ATTEND made statistically significant improvements, including:

• BETTER ATTENTION spans and FOCUS to a task (a boring task),
• LESS IMPULSIVE with MORE SELF-CONTROL,
• MORE CONSISTENT in performance,
• PROCESSED INFORMATION FASTER,
• FASTER REACTION TIMES
• after just 30 days of using ATTEND.

Attend is available directly from the manufacturer (VAXA International) for just $38.95 per bottle, far less than your cup of coffee per day, and far less than a visit to a therapist. It is best to order directly from the manufacturer, as they have the freshest and most potent Attend available, and they offer the best money back guarantee - 1 full year!

Are There Any Side-Effects With Attend?

There are no known side-effects with Attend.

Safe and non-toxic, Attend is unlike prescription stimulant medications that may have harmful side-effects. Attend works to naturally stimulate neural growth patterning, creating more neural connections and a wider neural network.

Visit the OFFICIAL ATTEND WEB PAGE at VAXA

Or phone VAXA directly at 1-800-248-8292 during business hours on the east coast. They are located in Florida. Ask for Daniel, the supervisor in customer service. He is a friend who will give you great service. Tell him that Dr Cowan said "hello."


Save about $15 off the list price when you order an "Attend Strategy Pac" with 1-Attend, 1-Memorin, and 1-Extress together for just $81.95. That's a bargain!

When you order directly from the manufacturer (VAXA International) you get the freshest product (it hasn't been sitting in somebody's garage for a year or so), which means that the product will be the most powerful available. The order is professionally processed and shipped out to you quickly. Plus you get VAXA's 1 year money back guarantee!

Try Attend Risk Free! VAXA offers a great guarantee of satisfaction. Attend either works for you, or you get your purchase price back. See the details of their money back guarantee here.

Learn Much More about Attend for ADHD in the articles below.

And Remember! Bookmark this page:
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August 2008:

Attend for ADHD

Designing A Calm Home ADD ADHD Atmosphere: Guest Author

Designing A Calm Home for ADHD

by Ron Rougeaux
June 30, 2005

Attention Deficit Disorder is a mild brain disorder that is passed down from parent to child. If one parent has Adult ADHD, then their child has a 50% chance of inheriting it. If both parents have it, a child is almost 90% likely to have attention deficit disorder. This means there may be more than one ADHD child in a family.

What this means is that attention deficit disorder hyperactive children who have trouble concentrating and sitting still are born to hyperactive ADHD adults who have trouble organizing their day and staying focused on tasks. This is a real problem, because the ADHD child does best in a very structured environment.

ADHD children function best when there is a definite routine followed hour by hour...day by day. Yet they are born to parents who are unorganized and unstructured - this is where the family problems start. That is why most ADD ADHD specialists recommend that the family go into counseling as a group, or that the parents get trained in how to handle children who tend to be difficult. If you cannot afford a therapist trained in attention deficit disorder or if your insurance does not cover this service, you may want to join a support group through CHADD. Books like Conquer ADD ADHD help you. Here are some things ADD ADHD coaches and counselors typically recommend. This kind of advice is the hardest for someone with attention deficit disorder to follow, because they prefer to "live on the edge" and find well-organized houses "boring" and "uptight."

1.Set up a soothing, calm physical environment. Keep the house neat. Paint rooms in soothing colors like light blue and beige. Don't put up a lot of posters and artwork, clocks, and other decorations. If you DO put up artwork, buy soothing pictures of nature and landscapes, not violent pictures with bright colors.

2.Buy simple furniture and aim for an uncluttered look. Don't put up a lot of knickknacks or use busy patterns for draperies and rugs. Think simple, minimal and "less is more."

3.Organize supplies in an orderly way. The mentality is "Everything in its place and a place for everything." Store things like forks and spoons, pencils and stationery, and all other household supplies in an orderly way. Put things away after you use them. Clutter is very distracting to the ADD ADHD mind.

4.Keep televisions, computers and other "screens" covered or enclosed in cabinets. Otherwise they will "call" to you to use them. The ADHD child and adult ADHD have problems controlling the impulse to turn these machines on when they pass them. Keep televisions, radios, CD players and everything else that makes noise turned off and shut away, unless you are going to sit down and use them for at least a half-hour..

My children and I all have one thing in common...We all haveAttention Deficit Disorder (ADD ADHD)... and we were all able to Successfully cope with it.

Contributed by: Ron Rougeaux Website: http://www.Adult-Child-ADD-ADHD.com

We appreciate all of our guest authors. Thank you for contributing! The views of our guest authors do not necessiarly represent the views of the ADHD Information Library or its staff.

Does My ADHD Child Qualify for Special Education?

How do I find out if my Child with ADHD qualifies for Special Education?

By: Erin N. King, Ed.S
Nationally Certified School Psychologist

Children with ADHD or ADD often have unique difficulties in school, academically and/or behaviorally. It may be more difficult for these children to focus and they may miss valuable information in academic lessons or instructions for assignments. They may struggle with organization to the point that they forgot what the homework assignment was, or they lose completed work before it is turned in. Children with ADHD may have difficulty sitting still during instruction or act out due to impulsivity.

Accommodations may be necessary to address these issues. It is important to use the least restrictive accommodations for your child. Accommodations can occur within the regular education classroom and do not always require a formal special education document such as an IEP or a 504 Plan.

There are also situations when a student will require special education to address ADHD. When a student’s needs cannot be reasonably addressed within regular education and the ADHD is negatively impacting education, then special education should be considered. As a parent, if you want the school to consider if your child should receive special education services to address ADHD, talk to your child's teacher or principal immediately.

There is a process within each school that usually begins with a meeting. This meeting will involve teachers, principals, other school personnel (maybe a School Psychologist). At this meeting, interventions to attempt with the child will be decided. If those interventions are unsuccessful, the committee may recommend a full evaluation for special education services.

If you have any questions about the process in your school system, ask your school psychologist, teacher, or principal. Parents have every right to ask questions and usually school personnel are happy to help make this process less anxiety-provoking for you. It is important for parents to understand their rights during the special education process. A copy of parental rights should be given to you, or you may look at your state’s Department of Education website.

Once a referral for a full special education evaluation has been made, schools have around 65 business days to complete the assessments (the number of days varies by state). During this process, several testing components will be completed with you and your child. The evaluators will write reports and a copy will be given to parents at the eligibility meeting. However, schools are required to have a copy available for parents to pick up two days before the eligibility meeting. It is advised, that parents take advantage of this and read reports before the meeting to help get familiar with the information and to formulate questions. The reports hold a lot of information that can be overwhelming if you are not familiar with this type of testing.

See our School Psychologist Files for more information about Special Education testing.

The eligibility committee will review the reports and then look at criteria to determine if your child qualifies for special education. Students with ADHD are typically considered under the category of “Other Health Impaired” or “OHI.” To be eligible, a student must have a documented medical health impairment (ADHD), that is adversely impacting education, and can not reasonably be addressed through regular education. The way in which a school determines the educational impact will vary among districts.

Our FAQ section at School Psychology Files has more information on ADHD and special education eligibility.

If your child is eligible for special education services, an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) will be written by a committee within 30 days. Parents are a valuable member on this committee. If he or she is found ineligible, work with your school to develop accommodations to be used within regular education.

Other resources by Erin N. King, Ed.S, Nationally Certified School Psychologist
http://www.schoolpsychologistfiles.com
http://www.schoolpsychologistfiles.blogspot.com

How to Be Successful

As a parent, how are you defining "success" for your children?

As the parent of a child with ADHD, have you changed the definition of "success" for your ADHD child?

How do you define "success" for yourself as a parent?

How have your ADHD children come to define "success" for themselves?

Our definition of success is

"THE PROGRESSIVE REALIZATION OF MORAL, VIRTUOUS, OR GODLY GOALS"

Each of these questions is important for us to think through. Many of us, kids included, only define success in terms of what we have, or what we have accomplished so far in life. Some define success in terms of how society and culture define it, while others have chosen to define "success" through the eyes of God, as best as they can know it.

As for me, I define "success" as "the progressive realization of moral, virtuous, or Godly goals." As I look at my kids and rate their levels of success, or rate myself as their parent, I want to keep in mind what, or rather who, my kids are becoming, rather than what they have accomplished in the past.

As long as I can see my kids on a path toward becoming productive and honorable adults, then I will feel successful as a parent.

RELAX A BIT

I want to encourage each of you to take a long term view in regards to your role as parents. I have received many emails from parents of 4, 5, and 6 year old kids who are having trouble with attention span, or coloring within the lines, or reading, or whatever.

Please relax.

Focus on getting your child onto a road that will lead them to be productive as adults. Teach your children how to be good fathers and mothers to their own children in the future. Teach your kids how to love and serve other people. These are the major lessons.

See life in the context of eternity, and your definition of success will change radically, both for your children and yourself.

Michael Phelps Wins Eight Gold Medals

Michael Phelps and his mother have been open about his ADHD for quite some time, and have been an encouragement to many children and teenagers. Now that he has won a record eight gold medals in swimming in the 2008 Olympics, Michael is a true inspiration.

What are the lessons that this incredible athletic achievement teaches, not just those with ADHD, but all of us?

1. That focus, determination, and hard work do pay off.
2. That ADHD is a problem, yes, but it does not have to be a disaster. ADHD can be over-come, worked around, used as a strength.
3. Individual sports may be better for an athlete with ADHD than team sports.
4. That a supportive family and supportive coaches are priceless.
5. That the stigmas about ADHD kids, ADHD teens, and ADHD adults should disappear.

Whether we are ADHD or not, it is very rare that something worthwhile will just be handed to us. May Michael Phelps’ achievements in the 2008 Olympics be an inspiration to us all to work hard at good goals, to be willing to make sacrifices for what is worthwhile, and to encourage others to do the same as well.

Way to go Mr. Phelps!

Q and A: Five Year-Old and Chores?

My 5-year-old son has no interest in helping with jobs around the house, either inside or outside. Often, he will drop to the floor, whining/screaming for something such as being asked to help set the table.

Recently I asked him to drive his ride-on dump truck around my garden and collect the weeds in exchange for some bubble gum. "No thanks" was his answer. He is not interested in pleasing me. We are doing a m&m's reward program for "flush and wash without being told" (this has been going on for 6-8 months). Should I be requiring him to assist with chores? I don't want him to be totally self-centered. . what can help this process?

Thank you for your help!!!

MOM

Dear MOM

Thanks for writing. You are in a difficult situation. Our culture says that you should just let your child be "who he is, and who he wants to be," but in your heart you seem to know that is not right - that path leads to selfishness and self-centeredness. That path also leads to rebelliousness against authority, your authority and eventually against all authority.

Yes, your five year old should help and do chores. But that is not really the issue that you write about, is it? It seems that you are really asking whether or not you should expect your child to obey you, or if it is OK for your child to look you in the eyes and say "no" to you. "Who is in charge?" is the larger issue, and "what can I expect from my five year old?"

At the root of the matter is deciding whether our "culture" is right in thinking that children are naturally "good" and "kind" and "loving" and need to just be left alone to grow up and be a wonderful person, or if our culture is wrong.

The possibility must be considered that past generations were right in observing that children are by nature self-centered, and must be taught to share and consider other people's needs as well as their own. Even Solomon, the wise King who lived 2,700 years ago, wrote that "foolishness (not goodness or wisdom) is bound up in the heart of a child".

So, this is where the decision must be made: either let your five year old run his life (as if he had wisdom, self-discipline, and life-skills), and run your home (as if he were the parent), or not. (As you point out, he is just learning to "flush and wash" so he's probably not ready to be in charge yet).

If you choose the "not" then you must take the active role of parent, teacher, disciplinarian, wise man, rabbi and pastor, drill instructor, and of course the most important role of "mother."

In general, here is a good principle: "foolishness" should be addressed by teaching to it, and "rebellion" should be addressed by discipline and/or punishment. The wise parent must know the difference between foolishness and rebellion so that they know how to respond.

Two good books by a wise man who gets a bad rap from the "culture": Raising Boys, and Dare to Discipline, both by Dr. James Dobson. They are worth reading and pondering. The people who would say to just let your child alone just hate Dobson. The people who feel like there must be a better way typically like Dobson and his books a lot. They are worth checking out from your library (if they would carry them) or you can get them at Amazon. Consider them, and then choose what works for you and your family.

You are the parent. May God grant you great wisdom and insight as you do this most important job in the whole world - being a parent.

I hope this helps. Stay in touch.

Doug Cowan

Questions to Ask the School

It's back to school time! Here are some questions that parents might want to ask the school to try to optimize the management of a child with ADHD:

1. What strategies does this school have for assessing, and meeting, the needs of an ADHD child?

2. Who are the people that provide actual evaluations or assessments of children at your school? If they are making an assessment of my child, will they contact me to get a good family history, developmental history, and medical history of my child?

3. Is there a school psychologist on campus? Is there one available? Does he/she do achievement and ability testing?

4. Is there an advocate or case manager available to my child?

5. What kinds of interventions are typically used in this school to help ADHD children?

6. Who is the adult on campus who is responsible for the administration of medication to children with ADHD? Are they on campus everyday? What are their hours?

7. Will the school contact me if my child fails to show up to receive his/her medication? Or will the adult on campus who is responsible for the administration of medication to children with ADHD go find my child and take care of it? Or will the school just allow my child to go without his/her medication?

We hope that some of these questions will be helpful to you, and we wish you the very best of success in this coming school year!

Some Tips for Parents on Non-Compliant Children

Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child not obeying you when you have asked him or her to do something. The child may be rebellious, scream "no" to your face, and slam the door. Or the child may say "yes, I'd be glad to help," smile, and go play the X-box. But either way the child does not do what you asked him to do. The word is helpful because it is descriptive, and because it may also motivate us as parents to move our kids from being non-compliant to being compliant.

Here's how we are going to define the term "non-compliance" in children:

1. The child fails to begin doing what he was clearly asked to do within a reasonable amount of time, which would easily be 15 seconds.
2. The child fails to keep doing what he was asked to do until the job is finished.
3. The child fails to follow previously taught rules of conduct in a specific situation, such as at church, at school, at the store, or with friends.

Non-Compliance in Children, Some Tips for Parents

When your child is non-compliant you need to take action.

You simply cannot ignore the behavior hoping that it will go away. In fact, non-compliant behavior can be “self-reinforcing” or “self-rewarding” behavior. In other words, every time your child gets away with not doing what you had asked him to do, he feels “rewarded.” And behavior that is “rewarded” tends to re-occur. So every time your child gets away with being non-compliant it increases the odds that he will be non-compliant the next time too.

Here are some really good resources to read...

Deal with the situation immediately yourself. And in very tough situations consider getting some professional help. In fact, non-compliance in children is the most frequent complaint of parents seeking help in clinics. It is frustrating to parents, and underlies most negative interactions between family members (parents, and siblings) and the child.

Disruptive behaviors, aggressive behaviors, or explosive behaviors, usually do not occur randomly. Instead they occur in "bursts" and are usually associated with either having asked the child to do something around the house, or after having been asked for something by the child and the parents responds with a “no.”

Over the years I have developed some presuppositions with respect to children and their behavior. I'd like to pass this on to you, as parents, with the hope that it will help you in dealing with a non-compliant child. They are:

• Kids are weird. Children do not think like adults do. Their brains are not as mature, not as large, not as capable as adult brains are. Children do not process information as adults do. They cannot see or understand the world around them as adults do.
• Kids are fools. This is not original with me. King Solomon, reflecting on his growing family (he had 1,000 wives and who knows how many children) said this a long time ago. "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child," is the way he put it. Simply said, "Kids will do foolish things, they are not yet wise." It is our job as parents to teach them wisdom.
• Have realistic expectations. We often expect more out of our kid's behavior than we expect from our own behavior. We want others to excuse faults in us, yet we will expect perfection in our children. When we have a difficult child, it is a great opportunity for us to become more humble, and to examine our own lives and actions too.
• Children do most things, good or bad, on purpose. Child behavior is not random. Sometimes your child will misbehave on purpose. When he does, it is because he is testing you. He is observing you to see how you will react. He wants to know if you will ignore the behavior, or excuse it, or just do the chore yourself. He wants to know if you will react with anger, guilt, or wisdom. Draw the line now, act with wisdom and righteousness, or you will be sorry later.

Here are two phrases for parents to remember in understanding your children:

A child's behavior occurs because of

1. who the child is,
2. what the child knows about you, and
3. what the child wants from you.

The child will do things either

• to get POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT, or
• to ESCAPE or AVOID SOMETHING that he does not want to do or have.

So please spend enough time with your child to let him know that you are on his side, and that you want the best for him.

There are certain things that our children need to know in order to be successful in life, and one of those things is knowing how to listen and obey parents. Stay the course and be consistent with teaching your child wisdom and compliance.